Friday, June 12, 2009

Rewind - Pause - Fast Forward

Let's just rewind a second. When I was 20 years old. Oh so many years ago. 24 to be exact. I was married to my high school sweetheart and a mommy to a baby girl so precious. We lived in a very small mobile home and were so happy together. I was a stay at home mom and Todd was the assistant manager at a grocery store here in town. People usually say the first few years are the hardest. I guess we were so young and stupid we didn't realize it was suppose to be hard. We were just happy being together. Sometimes at night we would kid around with each other about how one day we would have a family of grown children who would be having children of their own. I remember us talking about how we knew we would grow old together. I pictured us gray headed and holding hands. That seemed so far away then, but boy it is coming upon us fast. It's here already really. One of our children has made us grandparents already. One of us has gray hair already. :) And we do still like to hold hands. In fact I am looking at our family portrait on the wall right now. In it we are holding hands. I love that portrait. (Thanks Jami) Life goes pretty fast when you think about it. Wasn't that just a little while ago that we lived in that trailer and we used to draw pictures with our fingers on each others backs at night and make the other guess what we were drawing? Who hit the fast forward button? It cannot have been that many years since Casey was crying because she wanted to go to pre-school. It seems just like a year or two since Shayne Knapp shot Mark with the BB gun and then made a card for him apologizing with not one but two quarters taped to it. I still have that card somewhere. How does time go by so fast like that. When your in the midst of it, it doesnt seem to be flying by. Could it have been over 15 years ago that Josh pulled down the Christmas Tree? (Two years in a row.) I will never forget his little face, scared that he was in trouble, and worried about the tree laying flat on the floor. I wont forget his pouty lip, and his words " I sawwwwyy". 15 years ago? Seriously?? Who decides that life can go by so quickly anyway? Can't we just pause a minute? It seems like I should be out there right now picking up the towels from where Casey and Amber layed out in the driveway getting a suntan, after practicing their cheers and dances. Or maybe I should just run outside and pick up the juice boxes and socks off the trampoline that Mark left out there. Or the baseball, and basketball, and football that Josh strewed here and there. He always had a ball of some sort. Shouldnt I be out there picking those things up? Or has time fast forwarded to now? Casey a mommy to a miracle baby girl of her own, Mark away at College and starting some grad school classes, and Josh a couple of months away from his Senior Year. Whew! When I think back all those 26 years since Todd and I married I am so thankful to God for taking us through. Once again it makes me think of my new "favorite" scripture. Isaiah 41:13 ' I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand, and says to you Do not fear, I will help you.' I guess that is how you get through those years that go by at the speed of light. You let God take you by the hand. You listen to His voice telling you not to be afraid of everything you will experience. You let him help you. One day you realize what all he has brought you through and know that he will be there to help you through whatever else will come your way. We were very blessed back then and we are very blessed now.


Calley said... saddens me to think of how much time has already flown by for our little family. You try not to miss a thing, but before you realize it, it's a distant matter how hard you worked to keep it at the forefront of your mind.

Thanks for sharing this thoughtful post!

The Glenn Gang said...

Hmmm...I think I will get off my computer and go play with my little boy! Then, 25 years from now, I can look back and blog about this moment! Sweet post!

Penny said...

That was so sweet! Seems like it flew by! Shelbi is at Co-Lin right now, taking the ACT in a few minutes. How is that possible?! How is possible we have GRANDKIDS?! Nan used to tell me stories about raising her six. She would get that far away look on her face and share details that amazed me. Guess that'll be me in 40 years! =)
I love the part about the BB gun and card! I don't remember Keith ever apologizing to Becky for shooting her in the chin--- but he felt bad about it every time we brought it up! ;)

Jami Ainsworth said...

You did it again....wrote another sweet post that made me cry. And it is so true like your friend, Calley said, no matter how much effort we put into preserving all those memories, eventually it's a distant memory.

I also can relate about not having much at first, but feeling very happy and content. It seems the more we have/try to have the harder and more complicated life has become.

Thanks for inspiring and sharing.

Avery's Mommy said...

ok seriously? maybe this is why avery doesn't like it when i get on the computer! I cry every time I read a blog lately. Nikki said, off to play with Avery time is a wastin'!

Betty said...

no one has a daughter as special as you. You are the bright light in my life. Keep living, loving and trusting God. Love, Mama