Thursday, September 11, 2008

CHANGE

My beautiful daughter Casey with our "tiny miracle" Avery

This is Mark with a snake he got a hold of at the Grand Canyon



Josh with a rare smile. Things like the LSU Championship Trophy do that for him.


I have always disliked change. I like things to stay the same, where I am comfortable. Of course if things are uncomfortable, I want to change to comfortable. But honestly I must be REALLY uncomfortable before I am comfortable with the change. Wow, that's a mouthful! When I am in a comfortable place, or even a somewhat uncomfortable place that I can deal with - then change makes me nervous. It's a lack of faith of course. Because the nervousness comes from the fear of the unknown. If I can deal with a situation, then changing to something that might possibly - in some minuscule way - make the situation worse, isn't something I can easily do. I have always been that way. It's amazing that I ever married. :) Boy was that a big change. I remember changing from our trailer to our house. I sat in that room with that big table signing the millions of papers with the biggest knot in my stomach. It felt awful, not exciting like it should have been. Having children was a huge change too. I remember the fear involved once the pregnancies began. With Casey, I was so scared about the delivery. With Mark, I was so so scared that I wouldn't be able to love another baby as much as I loved my first. With Josh I was scared that I wasn't ready and didn't know how I could handle it. But the fears of delivery passed as I gave birth to Casey with no epidural. Of course with Mark I found that with each new baby a huge load of love was also delivered just as awesomely as the love for the first one was there. With Josh I found that you don't really have to be ready. Gods grace is amazing, just as the song says. I found that I COULD handle whatever GOD thought I could handle. (I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.) So it seems that those major things in life happened, maybe easier than the smaller things. What's up with that? When I think of these changes here that I have mentioned, and how GREAT they all turned out, why would I even be nervous about change at all?

2 comments:

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Avery's Mommy said...

I hate change too...guess I get that from you...probably just from living in the same house, going to school with the same people, etc all my life (which i am NOT complaining about!) :)